Owned Demotivational Poster
EPIC FAILURE - I hope you lost a bet. And even then, YOU DON'T BET INK!
FRIENDS - It's good to have friends. It's better to have some freakier and uglier than you.
SOLUTIONS - There is always one that will work in the end.
TIGHT LEATHER JACKETS - They are aweso- Hey, wait a minute...
BITING THE HAND... - Pretty freakin' literally.
OF COURSE - You could always call 911 FIRST...
J... E... T... S... - Just End The Stupidity!
CANCER - Shmancer...
FREE TIME - Too much, you have... A real job, you must find...
CARICATURES - Kind of redundant when you're chubby, or you look like Chris Farley.
THE NEED FOR SPEED - "Five minutes 'till they stop serving McMuffins... I can still make it."
OWNED - Check and Mate
BLACK CAN BE SLIMMING... - But it can't work friggin' miracles.
ANONYMOUS - Dude really said some profound stuff.
BATMAN - Is fictional, Goldie.
SINGLE MOMS IN AFRICA - They dream of your 70 hour work-weeks, sharing a two bedroom apartment with your six kids, and walking to work in the snow... Western Pansies...
HOROSCOPES - The best available are no more accurate than this.
OWNED - Life sucks and then you die.
CAMOUFLAGE - Now your only concern will be cannibalistic bears... or the ones in heat.
KITTENS - They called me and said they had found kittens. Ahhh... my girls, so innocent. Unfortunately, they are also so ignorant. But not for much longer.
THIS... IS... - Ridiculous! I paid almost $500 per seat, $100 for beer and pizza, $20 to park my car, and I have to sit next to a lunatic, wearing a Spartan costume in Dallas?! You Suck Jerry!
MCDONALDS COUPONS - That moment when you realize just how poor you really are.
HEY OVER THERE! - Would you like to see my incredible virginity?! I still have it, and it ain't goin' anywhere, anytime soon...
GOD FORBID... - You make that kid walk, lady.
EPIC PWNAGE - in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..
THOMAS JEFFERSON - The first US President to tell Muslim Pirates to go suck a lemon, by ending millions in "tribute" being paid to them, and sending war ships to punish their treachery.
SCREWED - You have your food stuck around your neck, you have no hands, you are known for your stupidity, and your comrades will rip you apart once they see you.
UMBRELLAS - They only keep you dry when it's the rain that's falling.
FAT CHICKS - Yet again, their bitterness overtakes them, and they gotta ruin it for everyone.
DRINKING TO FORGET - "She's gone bud... And ya ain't gonna find another one in a dive like this, or at the bottom of a bottle."
OWNED !!! -
JESUS - Just got owned by the forbidden fruit.
BITTERLY-DIVORCED MEN - Their insight and acumen is sorely missed in the contemporary advertising world.
LOGIC DUDE - Doesn't care for your poster.
EFFORT - Leave it to the uppity, over-achievers.
SOMETIMES YOUR THE SEAL... - Well... let's face it, you're always the seal.
RANDY MONROE - Owning the phone company.
AMELIORATION - It couldn't have made it worse...
PHYSICS - There are exceptions to some of those "laws."
COLLAGE? - Doesn't look like she does alot of studying anyway, does it?
MAKE-UP - Necessity is the mother of invention.
SWORDSMASTER GRANNY - Is gonna own everyone.
PLASTIC SURGEONS - The Emperor should have got one that had a diploma from somewhere other than a trade school in Memphis.
HEY BABY, - Waiting for the bu.....
OWNED - and theres not a damn thing you can do about it
OKLAHOMA CITY CHOPPERS -
TEN YEARS FROM NOW... - ...when Tina is prosecuted for trying to rob a Circle K, she will get a lighter sentence, because she has no "priors." Well played, Tina. Well played...
GOD DAMMIT - After all the God damn shitty posts, you're goddamn lucky you can log on to this site, God dammit!
AMERICAN TRUCK DRIVERS - They don't know, or care how many feet are in a meter.
PIGEOWNED - "You see your actions have consequences!!"
POLICE SKETCH ARTISTS - There's a reason that they are doing what they are doing, and not hosting their own water colors and oils show at the Met.
CONSTIPATION - Taking ONE picture while suffering from it is bad enough, but four?
YEAH... - You wish, buddy.
SPEED BUMPS - They suck the most on race tracks.
SOO... - How's your day goin'?
TADA! - Mind if I dance on your grave?
ENEMIES - Times were so much better when they were this obvious.
FAILURE - An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful.
POLICE PURSUITS - This is how they ought to be handled.
ENABLERS - Not only did the schmoe in the pic think his pose looked so hard it demanded preservation for posterity, but someone else agreed enough to take the pic. They need to be held accountable, too.
WILE E. COYOTE - Thinks this will end badly.
MISS FAT AND BEAUTIFUL PAGEANT - Someone forgot to tell the owners that fat and beautiful are mutually exclusive.
GREED - 'Tis the downfall of everything inflicted by it.
YOUR CONSTANT COMPLAINING - This kid doesn't hear it (or understand it).
ENSURING YOUR SAFETY - Our number one concern is that YOU do YOUR job, Mom.
INSURANCE DEFRAUDERS - This is how they see the world.
ENTITLEMENT - Yeah, you could call a cop, but he can probably afford the ticket, too. So get back in your Hyundai and go home.
RUBBING IT IN - It's never a good idea, even when you are the PO-PO.
FALSE ADVERTISING - A sticker will never be more effective than waving a Glock.
HAREMS - Like their beliefs, or not... The Arabs' are much, much better.
FAT "GANGSTAS" - Don't usually make past their first drive-by.
LIFEALERT CALL CENTER EMPLOYEES - Rest assured that when you "have chest pain," or you "have fallen and can't get up," the highly-trained staff on the other end is wearing a tie. That means he's professional.
WHAT MORE - can you say? Everything is owned when religion gets slapped in the face.
OWNED - Some just try to brush over it when they are outclassed.
DO THEY HAVE - the Mamma Mia soundtrack?
NEWSPAPERS - There's a reason they are all going out of business.
DREAMS - When you realize can't reach or achieve your own, ruin someone else's.
SUPERFLUOUS - Ladies... unfortunately, most of you are in no danger of being kissed by anyone, anyway.
LASER HAIR REMOVAL - Will NOT make your body look like this, unless it already looks like this with some hair.
EBAY - Just like con-men, punishing the stupid.
TOKENS OF YOUR AFFECTION - $12.99 Flowers, $5.99 candy, and a ten-line, hand-written poem... You really have taken the demonstration of true love to the limit, Don Juan...
FAKING ALIEN PHOTOS - Because faking UFO photos is for the nerds.
ANTIQUES - Today's junk is tomorrows junk that some idiot will be willing to overpay for.
RUGS - Some couldn't be more obvious if Aladdin was flying around on it.
QUIET, QUIET... - My lineman can't hear the snap count...
OWNED!! - No matter where you're from, fatties and pain will always be in the same place
intelligence noted -
D'OH! - A silly word made so easily understandable in one move
MORE UNWRITTEN RULES - As an addendum to poster #66651.
YOUR REJECTED MOTIFAKES - Which is worse you loser... being "unfunny," or "not funny enough?"
ANONYMOUS COWARDS - Posting Anti-American posters or comments while not using a handle anymore recognizable than some random letters. Because anyone would care enough to track you down, even if you used your real name. Wuss...
C.H.P. - Can't Handle Policework
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